The Rings of Power

I was sort of skipping through and half-watching Taru Sormusten herrasta: Mahtisormukset today. For those who know Finnish, it's of course The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022-). So why not write a few paragraphs about this experience? Don't worry, it wasn't dubbed or anything like that, so I got to enjoy it in the original language.

I've seen the Peter Jackson LotR movies many times over the years, and am a big fan of those. I've also skimmed through the books, and read The Hobbit properly once, years ago.

I can't say I'm a hardcore fan of the franchise generally though, but I liked the movies well enough. The big Helm's Deep battle scene in the second movie, The Two Towers (2002), was especially impressive. Still, I recognize the novel is a classic, and has some surprising depth all things considered.

The later Hobbit films I did not like very much, despite the solid performance by Martin Freeman in the lead role. In a nutshell, my opinion about those films is that they managed to be rather bland and cringey, despite the actors' best efforts. I remember it felt like a waste of big budgets and a pity that they had to make it three films instead of just one, and shamelessly use rather videogamey animations in several scenes. It also felt like they leaned a bit too much on cliché as compared to what makes The Hobbit specifically special. And the fillers with some of the familiar characters from those earlier LotR films I felt were also nonsense and unnecessary.

Years ago, when I was still slightly more involved in the affairs of men, I distinctly remember having felt that the books had made the better, more tasteful decisions whenever I had learned the films had diverged.

Anyway, watching The Rings of Power made me feel almost exactly those same feelings as back when the Hobbit films came out, except worse. It felt like such a waste of acting talent and a waste of budgets.

I was confused about these feelings, because then the impression becomes that these people didn't actually get it. But why would they make a series out of it if they didn't love the source material?

These days, it feels like everyone's just insanely cynical all the time. So maybe this is just one more production in a long line of recent showbiz work that only tries to manipulate the viewer, while making as much bank as possible at the same time. I have no idea if this show was or is a financial success or not, and frankly I don't even want to find out. I've been stunned and disappointed in my fellow man before, having learned stuff like that.

Here's a random notion about The Rings of Power: if you have races of beings in Middle-earth, then how does it make sense to have black-skinned elves and white-skinned elves living in the same place without distinguishing between them in any way in the lore or story? That's just weird to me. And I certainly don't remember this from the books. Maybe I should make a point of re-reading those.

You'd think if those guys had been living with each other for, say, hundreds of years or whatever, their skin color and looks would be approximately similar – because, remember, they're considered a race in the first place, according to canon. Unless Middle-earth is secretly just the United States of America, or wherever you'd like different ethnicities to better mix now; and if that's not racism, I'm not sure what is.

I also noticed the script kinda sucks, actually. I've seen some mediocre shows to be sure, and don't really mind those generally, but it's really strange how the characters have to explain every single thing verbally to the viewer. It just felt like I was watching a video game. But I don't want to watch games when I'm watching movies or shows! I'm watching actors do something interesting with the script, the set, or each other, because that's where the value is. Otherwise why not just replace every human with a computer animation?

I also felt that the visuals in the show were probably meant to feel like something else. Like something more. Over the years I've seen Hollywood become drunk with computing power. There is far less substance than before; most everything leans on the viewers being impressed by computerized visuals. Sometimes, that's actually all the content is now. There is nothing else. The Rings of Power seems like a continuation of this general trend.

And most importantly, why is Galadriel the main character like an action star now? The whole show would've been much more interesting had she been more faithful to the impression given in those earlier films or even the books.

The only thing missing pretty much was Orlando Bloom reprising his role as Legolas in The Rings of Power. That's sarcasm by the way; Orlando was great in the original films, but maybe we should leave it at that. Or offer him some other role, see if he turns it down! Take note though that I've now watched approximately two to three episodes of The Rings of Power, and so, if he still turns up later, I wouldn't know about it. And I don't want to.

Except they wouldn't have cast him anyway. You kind of get the feeling from The Rings of Power that the female-looking characters specifically appear more masculine in their behavior than any of the men, almost as a rule.

But that's just how the world works now, I guess: all the money is being poured into social engineering, no matter how subtle. You've got gatekeeping, gaslighting, and keeping quality information a secret, nothing else is required! Maybe some people really think that the world's problems can be solved with a combination of money and repeating the same message over and over again until everyone believes what you say.

Still, before drawing any more big conclusions about recent big-name productions, it's undoubtedly true that when you set the bar high enough, no one can reach it. And the film trilogy from the early 2000s really is quite legendary, for the most part.

The Rings of Power made me think that perhaps the primary reasons for any and all contemporary problems within society are just that humans no longer have anything new to say. I don't think this was quite the case some 20 or 30 years ago, certainly not to this extent.

In my opinion, when thinking about what might be popular or useful, there may not really be a recipe that always works. Or it may be so complicated that only a human specialized in telling good visual stories could manage it.

Indeed, The Rings of Power felt like it was written and designed by ChatGPT. Especially jokes like "I would sooner kneecap a stallion than seek to imprison the mighty commander of the northern army" gave it away. Even within the fantasy world of Middle-earth, a phrase like that simply cannot be funny. At least not when it's delivered like that.

Either you think it's just a show and that no one should care or you think it carries the name of a classic novel from the 1950s. You can't have it both ways.

Or, put it another way: a quality production really should be better than this blog, all right?

Still, there are some positive things about the show though. Mainly two things: the soundtrack is decent, and the production sets are interesting. I actually kind of wish they'd have focused more on them in the first few episodes I saw, because they're really doing most of the heavy lifting. Also, the orcs looked like orcs, which is sort of a prerequisite, I suppose.

However, I actually didn't get the impression that the places were all that splendid. While not decrepit, I got the impression that this was a land of poverty, instead. Especially the island of Númenor felt like it was just a pile of sand and clay. Luckily, you don't really need heating in the Mediterranean, or whatever that climate's supposed to be, except to combat humidity. No, seriously: I've seen people wearing shorts in 0°C, just so you know.

In a sentence, the biggest problem of the show is that I can barely remember what it's about, despite being familiar with The Lord of the Rings and having just watched those episodes earlier today!

The Rings of Power tries hard to underestimate its audience. Otherwise they wouldn't have known what they wanted to say with that show.

Verdict: 5/10. Morfydd Clark still looks like an elf.